Would you believe it? My celebrity lurve match is Louise Redknapp!
We’ve all fancied a pop star, maybe even had them up on our bedroom wall – on a poster obviously – but the sleazy Britney image probably doesn’t do it much for you. The ever-lovely Louise with her girl-next-door charm is much more up your street.
After all the only time she wore a school uniform was when she was studying for her GCSE’s and we bet she didn’t spend much time behind the bike sheds. You wouldn’t want to hit Louise one more time, she wouldn’t be into anything kinky, just perhaps some satin sheets, or maybe some al fresco sex in a field, or…Right, enough of that, what we’re trying to say is that Louise would be your perfect celebrity lurve match as you both radiate have an edge of an innocent sex appeal, a wholesome pleasure in a polluted world.
We’re not saying that you’re both as healthy as Bran Flakes; we know that Louise is as naughty as the next girl when she wants to be and so do her scores of male fans. This is why she continues to score so well in those top 100 sexiest women charts. Maybe it’s the way she claims to feel naked with her clothes on, but whatever her secret we think that with a bit of luck she could find herself stuck in the middle with you.
One will be pleased to know that as you have the right social airs and graces so there will be no chance of a thorny encounter one’s celebrity lurve match is with Kate, your English a real English rose.
And with the lovely Kate Winslet there’s no chance of a thorny encounter. However, she’s not just bloomin’ gorgeous, she’s also blessed with brains and ambition so congratulations on having the all important social skills to breaking her code. We bet you feel like the King of the World! Just in case you’re getting a sinking feeling we should point out that Kate is no wet fish as she’s starred in an assortment of bodice rippers.
Not bad for someone who used to be called Blubber and who used to be locked in the art-room cupboard at school. Still this held no fear for Kate as she made her TV debut dancing alongside the Honey Monster. Oh, what you wouldn’t give to paint your expressive desires with her in a confined space! We bet it’s her plumy English accent and her sense of derring doderring-do that attracts you to her and why not? Bring on the strawberries and cream, the Pimms and lemonade and the cucumber sandwiches (not to mention a lettuce salad, iceberg of course) as you enjoy the finer arts of croquet, real tennis, or even blasting the guts out of anything that moves in the well tended, rolling countryside. You’ve got the potential to be a true upper class reveller through and through and Kate is the perfect posh totty.